Christmas Day in a Single Parent Family
Here are just a handful of Christmas days this year from different types of single-parent households!
Among these, we share some of the difficult things we are anticipating, mixed with some of the brighter/more heart warming things we are grateful for!
Whatever your Christmas day is looking like this year, we hope you know you are not alone and that you can create your own unique, wonderful way of doing things!
Solo/Blended Single Parent:
“While we can’t do matching PJs, light shows and Christmas Eve boxes like social media instructs, there’s so much I will give my children.
Christmas this year will be one of curiosity, making new traditions. I feel enormous guilt, turning my back to the children and confining myself to the kitchen to make a meal they won’t eat so they’ll have their favourites instead. Want nuggets and chips? Sure! Chocolate for breakfast? Sure! Build a fort out of the sofa? Why not? I’m grateful for this chance to be the matriarch and make memories that my children will talk about when they are my age and beyond.
I’ll be asking to be in the frame this year. To be in the photos. To be MORE PRESENT instead of feeling guilty for not buying more presents.
Our Christmas can look like OUR Christmas, uniquely ours for us.”
Coparenting Single Parent:
“I'll be wrapping my gifts on Christmas Eve (no doubt). Then on Christmas Day - I’m looking forward to my lie-in (as my son is with his dad in the morning). Then, I’m joining our SPW online Christmas call for a cuppa and a chat at 11am (il probably still be in my Christmas PJs) and then I’m going to pick up my son from his dad's midday.
I’m going to pop in to my ex-husband's house and give his children (my son's siblings) a present. Then, I’m going to come home so my son can open his presents from Father Christmas. I'll be finishing up the day with having dinner at my sisters but it will be a hard one as it's my first Christmas without my dad. He passed away in August. I feel grateful for all of my family.”
High Conflict Coparenting Single Parent:
“This year is a bit different for us - I usually have my daughter in the morning and then she goes to her dad's later on in the afternoon but this year I agreed to him having her the whole day. So, I will be spending Xmas at my sister's house with a few family members and friends. I’l watch my gorgeous baby niece see if we’ve had any magical visits from the north pole, then I’m sure we’l have a walk and may even attend a Christingle service nearby before we gobble up a hearty roast dinner!
On Boxing Day, I'll be having a second Christmas Day with my daughter. It will be tough not seeing my daughter on Xmas day and also dreading the thought of arranging travel to get her to and from her dad’s house (an ongoing dispute/ nightmare). However, I am grateful that a friend (who feels like family) has managed to get us free tickets to walk around a special lights walk so this gives me something else to look forward to and keep my mind on lighter things!”
Coparenting Single Parent:
“We will spend Christmas Day and Boxing Day with friends- our family here. It will be tough not having our family here with us. I feel grateful for everything really, from important things like being healthy to things such as being able to celebrate Christmas surrounded by joy and love. I feel blessed.”
Coparenting Single Parent:
“This year I'm not with my children and will be heading home to spend Christmas day with my parents. My day will be filled with great food, Christmas telly and hopefully a boxing day swim! It's my first Christmas without my children so I anticipate feeling sad but I'm excited to spend it with my parents who are normally with other family. I'm grateful this year that the kids and I rebranded our Christmas Day to 'Merrymas' we celebrated on the 22nd with our best clothes, gift opening, favourite food and sofa cuddles with the new Percy Jackson series! We really had the best day and I know they'll have a great time with their dad on the 25th.”
Now for some heartwarming stories from young people from Single-Parent households:
Child - age 8:
“Christmas will be me sitting on the sofa unwrapping presents with the TV on, lots of lights, all cosy. We’ll have hot chocolate with Christmas dinner. I will also have lemonade.
I'm sort of worried that I won’t get much for my birthday, which is in January, because it’s just after Christmas. My brothers may also break my toys and this will stress me and I may get told off because I’ll shout at them for breaking and losing my toys.
I’m grateful for my family, birthday, presents and the food I have - especially ice cream. I’m grateful for a safe house. I’m especially grateful for lemonade.”
Child - age 10:
“This year I will be with my dad and his girlfriend. There will be a lot of family, everyone will be going crazy about dinner because my uncle's roasts are famous throughout the family. Present opening is tricky because of the amount of people in the space. I am grateful that I'm spending it with my family and that I get presents because some families can't afford it. I'm also grateful for the yummy food, because it tastes delicious".
Tween - age 12:
‘It’s my first year waking up at my dad's house on Christmas Day, I feel excited and nervous. It will be weird not having the same traditions I usually have with my mum and I just dont know what it will be like. I hope we will play games and make it special. I’m grateful for my family and for presents’.
Tween - age 12:
“I am spending Christmas Day with my mum and lots of friends. I am grateful for spending some time with my father before Christmas”.
Young adult - age 21:
As an adult who no longer lives with my mum I'll be going over to hers in the afternoon to see her and my little siblings. We'll have dinner together and we usually watch a movie or two, usually Muppets Christmas Carol, which was a tradition established when I was little.
As for challenges typically my mum finds it difficult to balance cooking and being able to spend time with us, even with my help. But in the last few years she's cracked the code and decided that getting some pre-prepared stuff from the shops is ultimately better for her. I'm happy for her because she used to seem so pressured to cook everything from scratch without any other adult to help. She deserves to be able to spend time with us.
One thing in particular that I feel grateful for is seeing my siblings enjoy the holiday. As I've gotten older and been able to help my mum more it's made me appreciate the effort she put into it when I was their age and it was just me and her. I hope the way I feel watching them is the same way she felt watching me.
Young adult - age 23:
“I love Christmas. Every year looks a little bit different for my family. Some years it is just my mum, my brother and me. This year we’re spending Christmas Eve at my grandparents' house, Christmas Day at home and boxing at the pub (lol) with my auntie, uncle, cousins and grandparents. Sometimes Christmas is hard because I feel guilty for all the money my mum spends on my brother and me. In a one-income household, my brother and I have never gone without. Silently, she made so many sacrifices to see us get everything we wanted as kids. It still makes me upset that she had to and still does work so hard. The best Christmas gift she could receive is a big fat break but right now that can’t happen. I am always grateful for my mum and her generous festive spirit. Last year and this year my best friend, who is an international student is staying with us, as my mum hates the idea of her being alone over the holidays, not that she celebrated Christmas anyway (haha). We’ve had random people around the dinner table a few different times and it always makes me think how special my mum is. She never lets anyone spend Christmas alone. Safe to say I love coming home for the holidays.”
Young adult - age 24:
"I will be spending my day with one of my colleagues and her family and celebrating Christmas with them. This is my first Christmas on my own which is why I'm really glad that I have such good friends and colleagues.
It has been a challenging year with many academic and personal setbacks but I'm really grateful for building new connections and meeting some of the kindest people in my life.
I'm grateful for all the people I have in my life and how they have helped me become a stronger and better version of myself."